your chicken-wicken, yaar

Delhi is the brashest of Indian cities. ‘If you’ve got it, flaunt it’ is the presiding mantra. Influence and money are the most showed-off commodities. The High Network Individual arguably scores over those whom investment bankers refer to as the High Net Worth Individual.

This conventional persona of Delhi has been challenged in the past few years by the emerging aspiration of corporate power. The shift is the direct fall-out of economic liberalisation, which began in 1992 under the globally acclaimed economist Dr Manmohan Singh, then head of the Finance ministry and who is now Prime Minister. Reforms reduced the PQ (patronage quotient) of politicians and simultaneously created a culture where business success and brands could overtly flourish. Lifestyle, the pariah of the old socialist regime, was installed in the social pantheon for the first time.

This is why there are really three Delhis—the chaotic walled city or ‘Old Dilli’, the landscaped spaciousness of New Delhi with its grand institutional buildings and colonial bungalows, and the flashy arriviste of the National Capital Region embracing the matt steel and reflective glass facades of corporations, IT hubs and the shiny pleasure domes of entertainment and retail therapy.

Happening people are referred to as ‘P3Ps’ (Page Three People), after the society page of the Delhi Times where they all want to appear. To the conventional paparazzi-fodder of socialites in Chanel shades or the Armani-suited young scions of business families (and their pot-bellied sires) has been added the trendy politician who has learnt to party with the best of them. Some of the P3Ps may also be ‘puppies’—the loud, nouveau riche, Punjabi version of a yuppie.

To pass off as a local, do at least one of three things:

1. Download a Hindi film song as the ring tone on your mobile, pitch the volume at Level 5, and turn up your own decibel level when speaking into the hands-free mike.

2. Break traffic rules with impunity—if a cop waves your down, jump out of the car with an aggressive swagger and drop any name you may have read in the morning paper.

3. When ordering at a restaurant, drawl “Let’s go for chicken-wicken, yaar”. Delhiites love to double up their nouns like this, and yaar, meaning friend, is a standard reinforcement word. Of course. you can’t stop at chicken-wicken. You must order almost everything else on the menu as well. Big is beautiful in large-homed, large-walleted, large-hearted Delhi.